Mundania 5

Recently I purchased some very personal items for a child, who is apparently the only person in the universe to require these highly embarrassing clothes that you wear next to your body. I held up the package. The child snatched it out of my hand and tore down the hallway. I thought about handing out an award for the Reigning Champion of the Underwear Dash. I decided it might not be appreciated.

Bookgirl: “Dragons can fly.”
Me: “Not all dragons have wings.”
Bookgirl: “Chinese dragons fly without wings.”
Gamerboy: “Komodo dragons don’t have wings. They don’t fly, though.”
Bookgirl [witheringly]: “I’m not talking about komodo dragons.”
Me: “Yeah. She means real mythical dragons. Get it right.”
Gamerboy: [Laughs.]
Bookgirl: [Pretends not to think it was funny, which it was.]

Sparkler had made up some sugar cookie dough and was ready to bake it. She was looking frantically for the cookbook, and I asked why she needed it. “To see about the oven temperature and… and the pre-heation and stuff!”

Recently, a mom at the park asked me how I had time to write a book, what with four kids and homeschooling. Writing a book is her “plans for when she retires.” I explained that my kids are independent workers, plus they spend a lot of time at the computer.

“At the computer how? Reading? Research?”

“No. Playing computer games and watching videos.”

“Oh.” She went on to speculate whether it was good for kids to spend a lot of time in front of a screen, what with possible radiation and strain to the eyes; she eventually decided it wasn’t. And I thought, “This is how I’ve written a book and you haven’t.”

And a special Ranger section, because he’s five years old and he’s not cute don’t call me cute! (But he is.)

The kids got pizza for lunch because Ranger extracted the promise out of me when I was still in bed. I’ll promise almost anything if it means the little voices will go away and let me sleep some more.

By the time lunch came around, Ranger was hungry. He explained that his tummy hurt because there wasn’t enough food in it. In fact, when he “was standing beside the table just a minute ago,” his stomach “gargled.” He stared at the stove timer as it counted down entirely too slowly. Finally, he asked, “Can you set the microwave timer so I can see when the stove timer will go off?”

Ranger is thinking more about his world and his language. Result being that I have to figure out how to answer the following in a short and simple sentence, without defining the word with itself (as in, “‘Mean’ means that…”)

“What does “mean” mean?”
“What is Nothing?”
“What is Enough?”

You try it. You’ll need coffee ahead of time.

Ranger enjoyed some chai tea just the way he likes it, which is basically tea-flavored sugar milk. “It was howling goodness!”

Written by Gamerboy

Me, Sparkler and Ranger were playing bingo the other day. Ranger reeeeeeally wanted to win. I told him “You can’t always win.”

Sparkler agreed with me .”Yeah. We’re playing for fun.”

And of course he said: “Yeah! I want to win for fun!”

Um, not really what we meant.


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