Setting down a laundry basket full of DJ’s wrinkled shirts, I announced, “Proverbs Thirty-One Woman, commencing operations.”
He replied, “I think it’s more First Corinthians Thirteen woman, actually.”
It was true. I iron his shirts because I love him. It would have been such a sweet moment, if I hadn’t swung the ironing board around and accidentally whacked him in the shin.
“When you say ‘several,'” Ranger explained, “it’s a number. It’s really 1937.” In related news. his 5th birthday is in nineteen-thirty-seven days.
At the fireworks show for Memorial Day, he was entranced. His sister announced that one type of firework was “a multiplying one.” Searching for the same term, Ranger proclaimed them “suffocating fireworks.” He also liked the ones that dissipated with a crackling noise, which he called “grumbling.” So, as a family, we all enjoyed 1937 suffocating grumbling fireworks.
Still on a sabbatical from church–that wording kind of makes me laugh–I took a drive down Rt. 11. This highway runs from somewhere in New England all the way to New Orleans, and my and DJ’s big empty-nester plan is to drive the whole thing.
This morning I didn’t drive the whole thing, just twenty miles or so of it. Among other conclusions:
* It would be hard to say, “I live on Funk Drive,” with a straight face. And I’d wait till my kids were nine years old before letting them attempt to say it.
* Mauerville is terribly to say. Just because you founded a town doesn’t mean you get to put your name on it. Think about these things, people!
* It would be a pain to have to clarify “Fehr Lane F-E-H-R not F-A-I-R” over the phone every time.
* Tea Berry Lane must have a Bed&Breakfast somewhere along it. The name allows nothing less.
People really should consult me about these things.
Ranger asked what a bubble was. DJ replied, “A liquid trapping air inside a sphere.”
When Ranger asked me, “What is a gun?” I said, “Something that shoots things.”
We’re like the Encyclopedia Britannica vs. Wikipedia of Answering Kid Questions.
I had 1937 more things to write about, but Ranger has requested that I form some liquid air-trapping spheres.