Love, SJ

 

Dear Mr. McCool Person,

You drive a black sports car with the license plate “CLSC RCK.” You radiate an aura of coolness. But even cool people need to know the rules. Could you please refer to your Cool Classic Rock Car Handbook, and read the entry under “Driving”? It states clearly that somebody in your Coolness Tier has to drive faster than 45mph. Sorry, buddy, that’s the rules. Even I know that — me, the one stuck behind you in the yellow Ford Focus with the license plate that means “Christe Eleison.” (It’s my husband’s car. I married Romantic Nerdy Deacon, not Mr. McCool.)

Tell you what. If you just can’t bring yourself to drive any faster, here’s what we’ll do. We’ll trade cars. We’ll have plenty of time at the next red light that you make us catch.

Love,
SJ

**

Dear God,

I’m so grateful for the way you made me.  I like how, for me, the Journey is just as important as the Destination — it’s like being a living, breathing Facebook meme!

The only teensy thing I might mention: the GPS you installed in my brain needs some tweaking. Just a little adjustment. Below is a recap of a recent drive I took. Just to illustrate:

Image

As much as I enjoyed the roundabout drive, you can see how this will be a drawback if you ever call me to help fugitive slaves to safety. Or, you know,  work at a gas station and have to give directions.

Love,
SJ

**

Dear SJ, Stealth Author,

That’s really neat how you pulled up to a Posted area and took pictures of the rundown buildings for future story reference. And kind of edgy, how you pretended not to see the No Trespassing sign. Just a hint, next time you might try not driving the bright yellow car. It spoils the whole “unobtrusively breaking the law” effect.

Love,
SJ

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