Captain America: The Winter Soldier (insert explosion here)

CapAm

DJ asked me out to see a movie.

This isn’t something he just throws out: “Hey, want to go see a movie this weekend?” My relationship with movies is very complicated. After I watch one, it lives in my head for at least the next week. I chew on plot problems, relive emotional anguish, and work out character development. It’s exhausting. I don’t, on a whim, just “go see a movie.”

But over the past year, DJ gradually introduced me to the Avengers series. I liked them. Particularly Captain America. I really like Steve Rogers. So after DJ saw The Winter Soldier, he thought it over and figured I’d like it.

So we went to see Captain America, The Winter Soldier.

Here’s a recap of the movie:

Fight scenes! Kicking, flipping, shooting, punching!

Gun scenes! Shooting, dodging, blowing stuff up, shooting again!

Car chases! Smashing, flipping, ramming, exploding!

But wait! There’s more! There was even a

gunfight
during a car chase
during which two characters have a fistfight!

But then, the movie slows down, and you get…

EMOTIONAL SCENE WITH STEVE!

Like I said, I really like Steve Rogers. He’s the ultimate female fantasy date. He’s a good guy, but he’s not too awfully upright and certainly not boring. Besides… the chest! The shoulders! He looks dang good in jeans. But here’s the other thing about Steve. He’s comfortable with emotions. He’s the guy who will notice that you’re upset, sit down and look you right in the eye, and ask gently, “What’s going on?” And he’s got such a nice big chest if you feel like flinging yourself at him and crying on his massive shoulder.

Side Note: If Steve Rogers is a classic fantasy guy, his opposite, Agent Natasha Romanov, is a rent-a-fantasy female. She’s deadly, she’s sexy, and she doesn’t really like dealing with, you know, emotional stuff. If she’s got to process something, she’ll do it all on her own without bothering you. She doesn’t really want to get close and have a relationship, but there’s always the chance that she’ll have a fling with you. Oh, and she has big breasts and a really nicely-shaped butt, which every woman ought to have if at all possible.

Anyway, after some emotional connections with Steve, the movie amps back up with…

Action scenes!

Airplanes exploding and crashing! Helicopters flipping around catching people jumping out of buildings! Huge big… CRAFTS rising up into the air, all with REALLY BIG GUNS.

And then you get some more punching, flipping, flying, exploding, and crashing. A lot more.

The warning comes that Cap has only 30 seconds to save the day. 30 seconds?! That’s practically a day trip in a superhero movie! Yup, sure enough, things go kind of wonky. The Captain saves the day with NO SECONDS to spare! That’s more like it.

I will pause here to make a few more observations about the movie:

* There were no opening credits and no title sequence.

* The dialogue was very enjoyable.

* The friendships were fun to watch.

* I have no idea why The Winter Soldier was called The Winter Soldier.

* Nobody bleeds much in superhero movies.

* Car insurance in superhero cities must be prohibitive. You never know when three cars behind you will blow up, and the street in front of you will buckle under the weight of a falling aircraft carrier.

* Never, ever get on an elevator. They have a bad habit of free-falling.

* People with super technology and super weapons have an affinity for glass. Glass walls, glass-top tables, glass elevators… And it’s all directly descended from the big plate-glass windows in Old West saloons. You know, the one that always, without fail, got smashed.

Anyway…

After huge aircraft fall out of the sky, entire buildings get laid to waste, and about half a ton of safety glass is scattered throughout the streets of Washington, D.C., the movie wraps up with an emotional connection with Steve, and the credits roll. Then you have to sit through all the credits to see the teaser trailer for the next movie.

I thoroughly enjoyed it. Gold stars to DJ for knowing what his woman likes.

(And what I mostly like is Chris Evans as Captain America, but did I mention that already?)

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6 thoughts on “Captain America: The Winter Soldier (insert explosion here)

  1. If you watched all that you ought to read some Clive Cussler books. The Hero and Sidekick manage to destroy some new, expensive piece of government-supplied technology in each book. And there is all of the other stuff you reported with the usual impossible deadline for saving the world.

  2. But the real question–what kind of hair does Agent Romanov have? ‘Cause the one where she had long, flowing locks which always looked perfect in combat was SO STUPID. Hair like that in combat would get you grabbed and given whiplash before you could turn around.

    • Her hair was shorter in this movie. But still impossibly beautiful all the time. It didn’t matter if a concrete building fell on her, if she was rappelling off a crashing airplane, or if (this is where it was *really* hard to believe) she towel-dried it after a shower. It always fell right back into place.

      One thing I did like was how they made it just slightly too red; it didn’t look garish, but reminded you that she is, after all, a superhero.

  3. I’ve got to say I’m totally shipping for Natasha and Steve to get together. Perfect match! I’ve been resisting going out to find some good fanfiction to scratch that itch, but it’s a strong urge. I’ll break down one of these days.

    And yeah, Agent Romanov is much better in this movie than the others – totally perfect here. (as a male fantasy figure) There are lots and lots of fun lines “On your left.” and stuff, but one of my favorite parts was where Natasha asks Steve if he would trust her to save his life no matter what. The answer, “I would now.” Provided all sorts of great development insight. (because the action doesn’t provide much character development, you’ve sort of got to get character development hints where you can)

    • Jesse, Natasha is on the very edge of psychotically crazy. And Steve knows it. I can’t see their romantic getaway going really well, when he has to knock her out when she realizes she’s committed to a relationship and goes absolutely berserk.

  4. Zorro and I came away from the movie with me saying “I love Captain America movies–the lines, the action, the philosophical questions, all of it.” and Zorro saying “It’s just not my thing–he’s too clean.”

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