DJ asked me out to see a movie.
This isn’t something he just throws out: “Hey, want to go see a movie this weekend?” My relationship with movies is very complicated. After I watch one, it lives in my head for at least the next week. I chew on plot problems, relive emotional anguish, and work out character development. It’s exhausting. I don’t, on a whim, just “go see a movie.”
But over the past year, DJ gradually introduced me to the Avengers series. I liked them. Particularly Captain America. I really like Steve Rogers. So after DJ saw The Winter Soldier, he thought it over and figured I’d like it.
So we went to see Captain America, The Winter Soldier.
Here’s a recap of the movie:
Fight scenes! Kicking, flipping, shooting, punching!
Gun scenes! Shooting, dodging, blowing stuff up, shooting again!
Car chases! Smashing, flipping, ramming, exploding!
But wait! There’s more! There was even a
during a car chase
during which two characters have a fistfight!
But then, the movie slows down, and you get…
EMOTIONAL SCENE WITH STEVE!
Like I said, I really like Steve Rogers. He’s the ultimate female fantasy date. He’s a good guy, but he’s not too awfully upright and certainly not boring. Besides… the chest! The shoulders! He looks dang good in jeans. But here’s the other thing about Steve. He’s comfortable with emotions. He’s the guy who will notice that you’re upset, sit down and look you right in the eye, and ask gently, “What’s going on?” And he’s got such a nice big chest if you feel like flinging yourself at him and crying on his massive shoulder.
Side Note: If Steve Rogers is a classic fantasy guy, his opposite, Agent Natasha Romanov, is a rent-a-fantasy female. She’s deadly, she’s sexy, and she doesn’t really like dealing with, you know, emotional stuff. If she’s got to process something, she’ll do it all on her own without bothering you. She doesn’t really want to get close and have a relationship, but there’s always the chance that she’ll have a fling with you. Oh, and she has big breasts and a really nicely-shaped butt, which every woman ought to have if at all possible.
Anyway, after some emotional connections with Steve, the movie amps back up with…
Airplanes exploding and crashing! Helicopters flipping around catching people jumping out of buildings! Huge big… CRAFTS rising up into the air, all with REALLY BIG GUNS.
And then you get some more punching, flipping, flying, exploding, and crashing. A lot more.
The warning comes that Cap has only 30 seconds to save the day. 30 seconds?! That’s practically a day trip in a superhero movie! Yup, sure enough, things go kind of wonky. The Captain saves the day with NO SECONDS to spare! That’s more like it.
I will pause here to make a few more observations about the movie:
* There were no opening credits and no title sequence.
* The dialogue was very enjoyable.
* The friendships were fun to watch.
* I have no idea why The Winter Soldier was called The Winter Soldier.
* Nobody bleeds much in superhero movies.
* Car insurance in superhero cities must be prohibitive. You never know when three cars behind you will blow up, and the street in front of you will buckle under the weight of a falling aircraft carrier.
* Never, ever get on an elevator. They have a bad habit of free-falling.
* People with super technology and super weapons have an affinity for glass. Glass walls, glass-top tables, glass elevators… And it’s all directly descended from the big plate-glass windows in Old West saloons. You know, the one that always, without fail, got smashed.
After huge aircraft fall out of the sky, entire buildings get laid to waste, and about half a ton of safety glass is scattered throughout the streets of Washington, D.C., the movie wraps up with an emotional connection with Steve, and the credits roll. Then you have to sit through all the credits to see the teaser trailer for the next movie.
I thoroughly enjoyed it. Gold stars to DJ for knowing what his woman likes.
(And what I mostly like is Chris Evans as Captain America, but did I mention that already?)