Here’s how a typical homeschooling morning goes in my head:
“Do your assignments, where is a pencil, if you need help ask me don’t just whine, STOP THAT STUPID BICKERING AND GET TO WORK, I don’t care if you don’t like math, have you done your history yet, stop chattering and get to work, this is so monotonous, why do I have to do this every single weekday…”
Child suddenly displays new comprehension of a concept, or demonstrates creativity beyond the basics of what we taught.
“Wow. I love homeschooling.”
Seized with a sudden fervor, Sparkler juiced about eight strawberries. She didn’t actually drink the juice; I think all she did with it was dip toothpicks in it, then tuck them in her upper lip and pretend to be a vampire.
And, oh right, left a pile of mushed strawberries on the table.
Now I have a new motto: “When life gives you strawberry mush, bake a strawberry pie.” I’m pretty sure it’s going to catch on. I mean, you get pie out of it.
A question for parents: when you took Parenting For All Occasions, did any of you take notes on the session, “When Your 7yo Sincerely Believes She Possesses Telekinesis”? Because we’re just feeling our way through the situation here.
Sparkler has conducted numerous experiments, such as stopping a rolling pencil or making flowers wave, and has convinced her older sister. She talks blissfully of the day that she’s strong enough to levitate things and therefore not have to clean up anymore.
Her older brother is a confirmed skeptic. DJ has told her point-blank that there’s no such thing. And I, after much thought on the subject, have decided that the best course of action is to pretend nobody’s saying anything at all.